Yeah, my last journal was too long and it was getting on my nerves. *sigh* I'm just chillin' at home tonight cuz no one wants to get drinks with me. Idk what to do with myself right now. How are you?

THESE ARE NOT MINE BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE THEM SINCE THEY'RE SO FUNNY! HERE'S THE ORIGINAL LINK: [link]

IN CASE YOU'RE LAZY:

VEGETA

1. Vegeta: What's the point? Fighting has become so repetitive.
2.

Vegeta: So what's up G?

Goku: Having a bud, watching the game.

Vegeta: True, True.
3. Vegeta: Goku, I admit it, you're a way better fighter than me.
4. Vegeta: Winning isn't everything.
5. Vegeta: If only I could grow a few inches....
6.

Vegeta: Lets go wild flower picking! Bet I can pick a prettier one than you Freiza!
7. Vegeta: I'm going to grow a goatee.
8. Vegeta: I think I'll become a monk.
9. Vegeta: *Sigh* Wish I wasn't impotent.
10. Vegeta: Let's let these guys live, they wont do us anymore harm, it is the only right thing to do.
11. Vegeta: Wish I wasn't a stupid saiyan, man, I hate my heritage!
12. Vegeta: I don't want to be a super saiyan anyway, I mean, who could stand that horrible golden hair!
13. Vegeta: *In the shower* (Sarcastically) Oh no, woe is me, I have dropped the soap. Erm.....Goku, that's your cue to get in here and show me a good time!
14. Vegeta: *Crying* Ow, you grazed my elbow!
15. Vegeta: Thanks for your help Gohan, you don't know how much I appreciate it.
16. Vegeta: I may be a saiyan, but that doesn't mean that I'm not sensitive *sob*.
17. Vegeta: Goku, let's stop this pointless rivalry, now let's go on a bender down the pubs together!
18. Vegeta: You got a problem with the colour pink? Just because I'm wearing a pink shirt, and tight pink swimming trunks doesn't mean to say that I'm a homosexual...well, actually I am...but you have no right just to assume that!
19. Vegeta: Ah, what a life! Hope Goku and Bulma don't find out that me and Chi-Chi are having a bit on the side, if you get my drift!
20. Vegeta: Wait, stop this gruesome battle of which the safety of the Earth depends on, I need to pee!
21. Vegeta: *Turns Super Saiyan* Now what was it Goku said...? Ally to good? Na, I'm gonna say something cooler. Damn, I missed it! the moment has already passed!
22. Vegeta: Did you see Melrose place last night? Damn it was good! I'm not surprised it's got such a following!
23. Vegeta: *Huddles in with his allies in fight to discuss important tactics* Did you see the way Burta was looking at Jeice? I think they have something going on there, if you know what a mean, eh?
24. Vegeta: Damn, these skidmarks will never come out of my favourite battle uniform!
25. Vegeta: Let's all have a burping contest! *BELCH* Beat that!
26. Vegeta: I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain...erm...*ahem* Yes, quite. If anyone asks, you didn't hear any of this!
27. Vegeta: I'd like to donate money to charity please.
28. Vegeta: Gee brain, what are we going to do tonight? NARF! ZOIK!
29. Vegeta: My favourite TV show ever is without a doubt - Pokemon! I love that cute little Pikachu so much! That team rocket scares me though, specially that evil woman - Jesse.
30. Vegeta: *Approaches Cell in Super Saiyan form only to be laughed at* Damn, I was in such a hurry to show off my new blonde hair, that I forgot to put some trousers on!

GOHAN

1. Gohan: Studying is for gimps!
2. Gohan: I take dope.
3. Gohan: Does anyone know where I can find some cheap porno?
4. Gohan: I want to be a porn star.
5. Gohan (To shop assistant): I'll have three condoms please.
6. Gohan: Shit, Shit, Shit, Shit.
7. Gohan: Shut up mom you dumb bitch!
8. Gohan: Man, why does Dad always get his ass beat so fast? He's a crap fighter.
9. Gohan: I'd hate to take steroids, I heard they shrink your dick down to daddies size!
10. Gohan: Mommy says that daddy is boring in bed. What does she mean?
11. Gohan: Piccolo, I would just like to say that now that I'm stronger than you, I no longer need you, so get lost, go die in the corner or something green boy!
12. Gohan: *Farts* That was a good one! Whoa! That's enough to kill even Vegeta with that stench!
13. Gohan: I wonder if I could get away with raping Marron.....
14. Gohan: Krillen, why can't you stay on your feet for more than 2 minutes? Every time I have seen you fight, you have always been knocked out by a single punch! Now I know why dad said you suck ass!
15. Gohan: Mommy, I'm ready for my castration now....woof!
16. Gohan: I'm pimping sluts nationwide!
17. Gohan: I will fight for a small fee - I am made emperor of the universe, and get all the chicks that I want, otherwise, I will be a no show, and the Earth will be doomed. I think that my terms are more than fair.
18. Gohan: Have you ever seen mommy in a thong? Well, if not, then you haven't lived!
19. Gohan: Mr. Piccolo, someone has got to say this to you, and I'm sorry that it has to be me. You have terrible BO.
20. Gohan: Each one of my turds are approximately a foot in diameter! You can imagine how much it hurts when I have constipation!
21. Gohan: Let's rehearse for my school play. *Clears throat* Juliet, you are a dog, that flabby faces, that moustache spreading across your lip...
22. Gohan: *Puts on his Piccolo costume, then acts like an idiot* Duh, look at me, I'm Mr Piccolo, *sarcastically* ha, ha, ha.
23. Gohan: I've got huge warts on my butt!
24. Gohan: *Flies past policeman* OINK OINK! Later, Pig!
25. Gohan: Damn democrats, give them a few votes and they think they run the whole damn country! Huh? They do? Damnit, you've gotta keep me informed on this stuff, like, need the info!

GOKU

1. Goku: Anyone know the number of a good stripper?
2. Goku: Whatever happened to these nice old intellectual conversations we all used to have?
3. Goku: Chi-Chi, you're really not performing in bed any more.
4. Goku: Man, whenever I go up an SSJ level, I need a haircut! That's it! No more training for me! Haircuts are getting way too expensive!
5. Goku: I am a porn star.
6. Goku (To Gohan): Son, you were an accident.
7. Goku: My IQ is 256!
8. Goku: (To Krillen) Brush your teeth, you're breath stinks!
9. Goku: KameHame.....ooh, don't touch me there!
10. Goku: Sonic Boom! Oh...sorry, wrong anime.
11. Goku: I wonder what will happen if I arrive at Namek without bothering to train I'll conduct a little experiment.
12. Goku: *Giggles* Hey, Bulma, yeah, sorry *Giggles again* I can't make it to Namek, something came up. *Laughs hysterically* Ha, don't get so worried, I'm only pulling your leg! Man, you should have heard how scared and worried and angry you sounded! Absolutely priceless!
13. Goku: Chi-Chi, you're getting a bit fat around the thighs you know, in fact, you're getting a bit fat all round....wait a second! Please say that you're not pregnant, I don't want another loser! Goten and Gohan were bad enough!
14. Goku: *Punching a dead Freiza* Bleed bitch bleed! Who cares if you're dead, I'm going to make sure, that'll be number 100 that I've killed this week!
15. Goku: Bald heads make me horny.
16. Goku: What? You want me to join you, after all of the innocent people you have killed, you expect me to join you, and help kill more? Well........ok, but only if I get to drive the spaceship.
17. Goku: Kame...Hame...erm....how does the next bit go again?
18. Goku: Anyone want to see pictures of Chi-Chi nude? They're 100% authentic, and boy, does she look hot! £1 each, or 5 for £3! Get them while you can!
19. Goku: Why can't the world save itself for a change?
20. Goku: Heh, I'm going to take credit next time I kill a mega powerful bad guy, instead of that idiot, Satan!
21. Goku: Oh my God! It can't be! NOOOO! A split end! Why God, why!
22. Goku: I am Goku, please insert girder.
23. Goku: Jingle bells, Veggie smells, heehee, I'm so funny! The classics are always the best.
24. Goku: The wonderful world of accountancy, it seems so simple! Now all I have to do is find out what it is, and I'll be rich! Rich I tell you! Rich! Mwa ha ha!
25. Goku: Let's play charades *Goes up to sofa and cocks leg similar to the way a dog would* I was pretending to be Chi-Chi! You get it now? Dog - Chi-Chi? What was that you say? She's behind me? Eek.



KRILLEN

1. Krillen: I have a nose.
2. Krillen: Can I have a comb for my birthday?
3. Krillen: I'm the worlds most powerful fighter!
4. Krillen: Man, too many girls! I'm worn out!
5. Krillen: I use shoe shine to keep my head nice and shiny!
6. Krillen: Which chick to have? So many options, so little time....hell, I'll have all 40!
7. Krillen: Man, this looks really good. There is no chance that this super powerful guy could possibly beat Goku. No way. Impossible. Goku's got this all wrapped up. Just because we were all beaten to a pulp, Goku is so much stronger than us, that he can kill this bad guy, even though he is currently getting beat up.
8. Krillen: Hey, you have the same power level as me Mr. enemy guy. This means that I will finally be fighting someone as weak...err...as strong as me!
9. Krillen: I have a spot on my head for every enemy that I have defeated in battle....including my soft toys. Well, actually, big teddums is the only person who I have beaten, all the other toys beat me up, and after big teddums had lost for the sixth time, he grew stronger, and although he pretended he couldn't move, I know he could...ok, I admit it, I'm useless! He couldn't move, I'm just so weak that an inanimate object can beat me!
10. Krillen: Don't let my small size fool you. I'm big in the areas that count, heh. What? I was talking about my muscles!
11. Krillen: I have the worlds most powerful attack - The destructo disc - Yet I'm too stupid to throw it without shouting out the attack name, alerting the enemy of its presence.
12. Krillen: Man, Gohan's stronger than me, and he hasn't even reached puberty. Then again...neither have I, so I guess it all pans out in the end.
13. Krillen: I sure am glad to have a friend like Bulma, always praising me for everything I do, gee, its people like her who make my efforts worthwhile!
14. Krillen: Guess this is just another fight that I'm going to watch from the sidelines, along with everyone else, cheering on that cocky idiot Goku!
15. Krillen: My height deficit is due to the drugs that I have been taking lately. They caused me to stop growing in ALL areas. Damn!
16. Krillen: The only reason that Goku is stronger than me is because he's a stupid saiyan! If I was a saiyan, I'd be the strongest guy in the world!
17. Krillen: *Shaking* His...power is....immense....almost as big as.....mine, but I still.....have to talk.....with brief pauses....in between everything.....that I say.
18. Krillen: I believe that I have just soiled myself at the prospect of having to mow the lawn, being the total lackluster, weak fool that I am.
19. Krillen: I'm going to use 'hipp' words like 'mondo' and 'bro' in an attempt to make myself look cooler.
20. Krillen: Goku....I love you man.
21. Krillen: My life story in four simple words - Drugs, Sex, and Alcohol.
22. Krillen: I am the lead drummer in a heavy metal rock band, appreciated by many young, rebelling adults worldwide, and I do incredibly stupid stuff to get myself dissed by the media, yet respected by the fans.
23. Krillen: Oh poop. I'm at the wrong battlegrounds. Maybe that was why Goku was laughing his head off when he gave me directions. Damnit, he is soo dead. Aw who am I kidding, I'm too weak to do anything.
24. Krillen: ARRGHH! It can't be! There's just no way! Impossible! It's too strong...I can't get my shoe of this damn, dingy dog!
25. Krillen: Solar Flare! Bugger, blinded myself again! I'm going to have to learn get that move right sometime.

FRIEZA

1. Frieza: Ok, let's have a nice clean fight, no attacking from behind ok?
2. Frieza: Oh well, I've been beaten, I might as well just walk away.
3. Frieza: You're not going to lure me in a fight, I'm not like that anymore.
4. Frieza: Who wants orange juice?
5. Frieza: Pink is my favorite colour.
6. Frieza: Oh, behave, young man, you rascal you! *Flops his hand down, so it is hanging limply*
7. Frieza: My animators made me look like a complete fool when I was turned into cyber Freiza! Couldn't they have just let me die, and withhold my dignity!
8. Frieza: *In hell* Damnit, I've been cut in half twice, once vertically, and once horizontally. Does no one realize how much that smarts! You'd think they'd show some compassion and stop doing it, but no, they have to go and try to look all macho by cutting little old helpless Frieza in half don't they! Idiots!
9. Frieza: Lets see.....I could easily kill Vegeta myself and get the dragonballs back....na. I think that I'll get all my soldiers to go after him, each with a power level only slightly higher than his. There is no way that he will be able to keep on surviving.
10. Frieza: Has anyone else noticed that I'm asexual? How does that work? How was I born? Does that mean I have no mother? So many questions....so little time to answer them all!
11. Frieza: I sound like a girl...but as I have no genitalia, I cannot be sure whether or not I am, but one things for sure, if I'm not a girl, then I'm a stark raving mad, screaming homosexual, with no more right to live on God's green Earth than a rapist!
12. Frieza: Whoa! You see Trish Stratus last night. Hubba Hubba! Now that's a woman! How about Val Venus, you see him? Now that's a man! Sh-wing!
13. Frieza: This new balsam ultra toilet paper is so soft on my rear.
14. Frieza: Oh behave!
15. Frieza: Aren't steps great! Yeah, it's tragedy! La la la, la la la. Wait, what am, I doing! I'm singing to Steps! Put me out of my misery, please, someone, anyone!

BULMA

1.

Bulma: It doesn't matter what clothes I wear.
2.

Bulma: Looks aren't everything.
3.

Bulma: Krillen, you have always been a good friend to me, leave me here for as long as you like, and I wont mind.
4.

Bulma: What the hell is a computer?
5.

Bulma: I vow to keep one hair style for the rest of my life!
6.

Bulma: Is it just me, or do I find everyone cute?
7.

Bulma: I talk to frogs, how delectable!
8.

Bulma: I am capable of scaring people with a power level of about 30,000 times mine. Neat huh?
9.

Bulma: I can outrun dinosaurs, not many people can boast that can they now?
10.

Bulma: I never noticed this before, but it is what counts inside that matters, not what you look like, or what clothes you wear. In fact, to emphasise my point, I will wear the same outfit for...well....a long time, even longer than I did when I was on Namek!
11.

Bulma: Oh pants! Or should I say Briefs? Heh, just a little family humor there.
12.

Bulma: Try Kellogg's frosties, they're GGGGGreat!
13.

Bulma: Has anyone noticed how much I say for sure? I mean, it's for sure annoying that I say for sure so much, I mean, people have got to for sure hate me for saying it, for sure!
14.

Bulma: Hey Mr froggy, put a record on, I want to dance with my Veggie.
15.

Bulma: I am incompetent, and I also eat fried, salted kippers for breakfast.

PICCOLO

1.

Piccolo: Lets go party!
2.

Piccolo: Does my bum look big in this?
3.

Piccolo: Erm....Gohan, I...er...don't quite know how to say this...will you marry me?
4.

Piccolo: I wonder if Bulma would sleep with me. She's got the green hair, and I got the green skin, we're a perfect match!
5.

Piccolo: Arse. Biscuits. Drink!
6.

Piccolo: Well, you were all going to find out eventually, so I might as well just come out and tell you. Me and Gohan have been dating for a month now.
7.

Piccolo: I auditioned to be one of Santa's elves, and because of my ears and pointy shoes, I was accepted. I quit after a while though, because it was too cold for me.
8.

Piccolo: I have decided to never bother to train again, but instead to fuse with every single Namek in the world! That would make me invincible, without having to even put any effort into it. I'm a genius!
9.

Piccolo: *On his way to the Frieza battle* Ooh, a donut shop! I'm sure Gohan can wait! *Arrives on the battleground* Whoops, everyone is dead, and Frieza has gone. How am I going to explain this to the producers?
10.

Piccolo: I really got to buy some new clothes. These ones are started to smell, although they will never go out of style, what with me being Mr. cool and all.
11.

Piccolo: Pointy ears are all the style man!
12.

Piccolo: Hey Gohan, what do you think my chances with your mom would be?
13.

Piccolo: Ah, whistling, music to my ears. The shrill shrieking which sends shivers down my back. It's kind of a turn on actually.
14.

Piccolo: Moke...Macan...Maken....sod it, Special Beam Cannon!
15.

Piccolo: Blue is the new black!
16.

Piccolo: We are the asexual entities in green, galaxy defenders *Does Will Smith dance*
17.

Piccolo: Smack my bitch up! Erm...what you all looking at?
18.

Piccolo: Has anyone seen Vegeta's butt when he bends over. Not bad, I'll tell ya!
19.

Piccolo: Hold on, I'll continue the fight after I have got some nice, soft Kleenexes.
20.

Piccolo: I need a poo poo. Is there a loo loo to satisfy my cravings?

OOLONG

1.

Oolong: Perverts disgust me!
2.

Oolong: I'm gay.
3.

Oolong: Hey, I resent being called a pig! My manors are fine, in fact.....oh, you mean it in the literal sense. My bad.
4.

Oolong: So what if I like to sit back on my rocking chair, and read a copy of pensioners weakly, it doesn't mean to say I'm old.
5.

Oolong: Fighting is so exhilarating, which is why I am always gagging to get stuck in!
6.

Oolong: *To big, hard, incredible tough guy* You're saying that I'm a coward? You want to make something of it?
7.

Oolong: Out of my way Yajirobe, the Earth needs a hero, and it's me, not you!
8.

Oolong: Cowardice is pointless, fighting is the only way to get things accomplished!
9.

Oolong: I'm going to fight Frieza, I'll show him what a pig can do!
10.

Oolong: People call me a perverted pig, but really, they're wrong. I resent being called a pig because....actually, I am a pig, and I am perverted so.....they're right. Forget I said anything.

NAPPA

1.

Nappa: I use head and shoulders!
2.

Nappa: *Sob* Just because I've got big muscles doesn't mean to say that I'm not sensitive!
3.

Nappa: Erm.......Vegeta, I need to go pee, can I just use the little boys room for a sec, and let these Earthlings wait?
4.

Nappa: I am a sexy bitch!
5.

Nappa: We should be grateful for everything that God put here on this Earth - The trees, the valleys, the flowers, isn't life grand!
6.

Nappa: To be, or not be, that was the question proposed by my favourite actor - The guy who played Hamlet.
7.

Nappa: All you need for this body, is a healthy diet, I don't even train!
8.

Nappa: Wow, a really sharp blade coming for my head. I wonder what to do? I know, I shall tense my neck up, and undoubtedly survive...erm...there's a nagging thought at the back of my mind. It's saying "Nappa, this will kill you" probably means nothing though.
9.

Nappa: Aw man, why have I been cursed with this benevolent insolence and deficient brain size. Why Kami why! (Kami being God of course)
10.

Nappa: I'm going to make some really bad jokes now, whilst I stand still, and beat up people weaker than me. Then, some super strong power will come, and kill me easily. Yep, it's all so perfect, I benefit most...wait a second...d'oh! Erm...surely there's a way to change fate!

YAJIROBE

1.

Yajirobe: No more food for me, I'm full.
2.

Yajirobe: I used to be a porn star
3.

Yajirobe: Don't hold me back! Let me in there! I want to get into the fight!
4.

Yajirobe: The ladies can't resist me
5.

Yajirobe: I could have any chick that I want, it's just that....well....I'm gay.
6.

Yajirobe: I am even more powerful than Goku, but I don't want to embarrass him, so I pretend to be a weak coward.
7.

Yajirobe: Trunks was wrong, the sword does make the man. Without mine, I would be destroyed by everyone!
8.

Yajirobe: I look a lot like the failed fusion attempt by Goku and Vegeta in movie 12 don't I?
9.

Yajirobe: Time for more of my well-known zany comments and exploits. Maybe I will come and attack Vegeta from behind, then run away, heh, that'd be priceless!
10.

Yajirobe: Hey guys, I just married my one true love - Mary. She's the biggest hot dog that I have ever seen....but I...err...sort of got hungry after the ceremony, so I ate her.



MASTER ROSHI

1.

Roshi: What do you expect me to do with this playboy magazine? Ewwwww......its got naked women in! Sick!
2.

Roshi: Damn, I can't believe that bald headed goon Krillen became more powerful than me!
3.

Roshi: That woman is going to feel pretty silly when she realizes that she isn't wearing any clothes and she's dancing around that pole.
4.

Roshi: Don't bother saving the world guys, just let the bad guy win for once, it should be a laugh.
5.

Roshi: What's pornography?
6.

Roshi: Once again, I am in a pointless sub-plot which no one wants to see, and has no relevance what-so-ever to the main story. I know I'm past my peak, but I should still get a good part in the show, rather than a perverted old, weak man.
7.

Roshi: Women aren't objects, they should be treated with utmost respect.
8.

Roshi: I have to stand in a queer way. My hands must be behind my back, and I must be bending over oh so slightly. It's very cool. You have got to see me standing to believe how brilliant I look!
9.

Roshi: I'm thinking about bleaching my hair and beard blonde. What do you think?
10.

Roshi: I am one sexy bitch! Yep, the ladies won't be able to resist my masculine pursuits!

CHI-CHI

1.

Chi-Chi: Oh Goku, I'm so proud of you teaching our son to fight!
2.

Chi-Chi: I used to be a man.
3.

Chi-Chi: Screw Gohan, hope the little gay dies in battle, that'll teach him not to study!
4.

Chi-Chi: Sure am glad I accepted that offer to pose nude for playboy, now I can dump Goku's ass, and get a real man.
5.

Chi-Chi: I wonder if Gohan will like this brand of drugs, he said he wanted cocaine, but speed should do him fine.
6.

Chi-Chi: Goku, I can't stress this fact enough, I appreciate all you do for me.
7.

Chi-Chi: Maybe if I hit the bottle, I can drown my parental worries...
8.

Chi-Chi: Goodness, Goku, you hunk you! What say we go to bed a little early tonight? *Wink wink*
9.

Chi-Chi: No need to go get guns and try to get involved in the battle, I'll just let Gohan to his 'thang'.
10.

Chi-Chi: Damn, I am fine! Oh yeah, I'm beautiful baby!

PUAR

1.

Puar: Yamcha sucks! He's never there for us anymore!
2.

Puar: I'm going to take hormones to make my voice sound more masculine
3.

Puar: Really, I'm a shape changing, 10ft dragon
4.

Puar: I have a power level of 6 billion, but I use this weak form to conserve energy
5.

Puar: Who da high-pitched, little flying gimp-cat?
6.

Puar: God, Bulma and Yamcha are all over each other as usual! I think I'm going to barf!

CHAO-ZU

1.

Chao-zu: I used to be a pokemon.
2.

Chao-zu: I suck as a fighter don't I?
3.

Chao-zu: I'm going to take up a new profession, becoming a mime.
4.

Chao-zu: I used to be a circus act.
5.

Chao-zu: I got cool dress sense.
6.

Chao-zu: Tien, when I'm hiding behind your leg, well, really I am humping it.
7.

Chao-zu: In my spare time, I'm pimping sexy ladies to my best client - Krillen.
8.

Chao-zu: Have I ever used a powerful attack without killing myself? No? Damn, guess I am a weakling then *sigh*
9.

Chao-zu: I'll bet you one chocolate nut bar that Goku fails us all, and the world falls into turmoil.
10.

Chao-zu: I need a catchphrase...maybe this highly original one, it'd make me sound cooler than ever!: I tawt I saw a puddy cat. I did, I did see a puddy cat!



CHIBI TRUNKS

1.

Chibi Trunks: Hey, Goten, I dare you to jump in that volcanic lava, it wont hurt, honest!
2.

Chibi Trunks: Get your own food Tapion, you lazy gut!
3.

Chibi Trunks: Wedgy! *Grabs Gotens pants and lifts them above his head* Ha, your so easy to get with that you stupid fool.
4.

Chibi Trunks: I don't think I'll train today, who needs to be strong anyhow?
5.

Chibi Trunks: Hey Goten, what's your power level? What's that, it sounds like a low number. Sounds like a number far lower than mine. In fact, sounds like a number that only poofs would get! *Goten punches Trunks in the mouth to shut him up* Ow! That hurt! Now, you pay! *Trunks kills Goten with a blast to the face* Erm.....think of an excuse.......he spontaneously combusted. Yeah, they should believe that, man, Trunks, you are so smart!
6.

Chibi Trunks: I am going to fight this fight seriously, with no japes what-so-ever, and so messing around. Yep. Hey, why you laughing? Stop that, I'm serious!
7.

Chibi Trunks: Hmm, I have two choice, do I bare my ass, or do I try using an attack. As if there was ever any competition! *Pulls trousers down*
8.

Chibi Trunks: Isn't it amazing that I'm a boy genius, where as my best friend is a complete idiot? I find that quite interesting. Yep, Goten is a fool, he should be hanged for his foolishness.
9.

Chibi Trunks: Tapion gave me this sword, so I will honor him by not only not using it, but by throwing it in the bin at the corner of my room, and neglecting it for the rest of my life!
10.

Chibi Trunks: PORNO!
11.

Chibi Trunks: Hee hee, Dads going to find this card really funny. Let me read it to you. 'To Dad, I turned Super Saiyan as a kid, and it took you ages, ha ha ha, from your Super Saiyan son, Trunks' Not bad eh? Dad'll be so chuffed!
12.

Chibi Trunks: I seem to have an enormous amount of pressure exerted on me to save the world, I don't think I'll be able to do it without a small donation of hard cash *Hint hint*
13.

Chibi Trunks: Ha ha, go on Brolli, knock Goten out! Ha ha! Oh, I need the toilet *giggle* I guess I'll just go leaving Brolli kicking your head in Goten *manic laughter* Ah...revenge is sweet.
14.

Chibi Trunks: Anyone see that film last night, think it was called "Bulma Briefs, slut and scientist'. Had a woman who looked just like mom taking her clothes off!
15.

Chibi Trunks: Mom and Dad said that I mustn't go in their bedroom when I hear screaming because they are playing under the covers.



FUTURE TRUNKS

1.

Future Trunks: My haircut is gay.
2.

Future Trunks: *Chops Goku's head off* Like my new technique? I can pretend that I have no killing intent. Neat huh?
3.

Future Trunks: My bum hurts.
4.

Future Trunks: Let me think.......Shall I save the world.....erm....no!
5.

Future Trunks: Without my sword, I would be one useless pile of crap!
6.

Future Trunks: Honor is for the weak!
7.

Future Trunks: Gohan, my trainer, my friend, my savior, you're dead. Damn, now your mom won't be getting the playstation 2 for us to play on! Why! *Turns Super Saiyan* You androids are going to pay for this!
8.

Future Trunks: I'm a freak! I hybrid between a human and a Saiyan. So are you Gohan. Let's go kill ourselves. *Jumps off building* Ouch! Damn, I forgot, I'm impossibly strong so it will be really hard to die. Bugger.
9.

Future Trunks: You know what Vegeta? I don't like your attitude. *Vegeta laughs in his face* For that, you die!
10.

Future Trunks: *Throws sword in the air are, and bends forward to catch it in the pouch on his back, with it missing, and sticking in his spine* Ow! Mom, it happened again!
11.

Future Trunks: So what if my bed covers are stained with urine? That doesn't mean anything! Alright, I admit it! Even super heroes wet the bed though!
12.

Future Trunks: Why is it that everyone in my family has a stupid name, except for my dad? Aren't we all items of underwear? Bra, Trunks, Bulma, Briefs, yep, how degrading.
13.

Future Trunks: Sorry about this Goku, Slim Shady said to kill all the mutha' fuckin people stronger than you.
14.

Future Trunks: How many of you people can honestly say that you have shrines dedicated to you? Ha, not very many, I can tell you! I am better than you!
15.

Future Trunks: *Incessant muttering* I am Cornholio. Need Tepee for my bunghole! Raaah!
16.

Future Trunks: I drink from the toilet, and it is damn tasty!
17.

Future Trunks: Yo, daddio, I'm way harder than you, so just live with it, bitch.
18.

Future Trunks: I'm Jewish.
19.

Future Trunks: Hey kids, don't forget, starting fires is cool! (NOTE: Don't really do this kids, Trunks is evil!)
20.

Future Trunks: I'm the pretty member of the Earth's Special Forces. What a great honor *sob...sniff* I'd just like to say a big thank you to my mom, my dad, my artist, my creator, and all my fans, for making this possible!



TIEN

1.

Tien: The third eye is purely to help my reading skills.
2.

Tien: Shut up Chao-zu, you stupid Muppet!
3.

Tien: Man, why can't you go bother someone else Chao-zu? Have you no friends?
4.

Tien: Sorry, can't come out tonight Chao-zu, I'm....er....washing my hair. What do you mean I've got no hair? Get lost you stupid fool!
5.

Tien: I was breast fed when I was younger, and I have continued that tradition other the years.
6.

Tien: Chao-zu, why do you suddenly decide to self-destruct now against Nappa? Why didn't you do it during the training like I told you to? It would have made me so much happier. No fool to grab my leg all the time. That would be bliss!
7.

Tien: Grrrr...damn...this is too much! It...can't...be! *Splash* Ah...what relief. Constipation is such a pain!
8.

Tien: You seen that scar on my chest? I got it during my trip to the brothel with a particularly rough customer. She said her name was Chao-zu, and she was small, had a white face and...wait a minute, that was the Chao-zu that I know! *Washes mouth out, then starts to scrub himself with a bursh* Unclean...Chao-zu all over me...must get it away!
9.

Tien: Oooh, a big nasty spider! Get it away! Get it away!
10.

Tien: Well gee, the outlook of this battle looks bleak. Let's go home.
11.

Tien: Man, I sure am glad Piccolo's on our side during this battle. What? He isn't? D'oh!
12.

Tien: Hey, Piccolo, Yamcha, we have to get to King Kai's place, and we'll be there for ages, so after 3, fly there as fast as you can, to try and outrun that flea-ridden, pokemon reject - Chao-zu.
13.

Tien: Well, I'm one of the most unpopular characters in this whole anime! Is it my boring looks? Perhaps it's because I have no sense of humor? Could it be that I'm not even stronger than Krillen? No, it's Chao-zu, he's cramping my style!
14.

Tien: Hey guys, how about you stop using the solar flare? It's my move, stop that! Guys...guys! Why you ignoring me? Fine, I don't care, I don't need you, you can leave me and use my move. See if I care!
15.

Tien: All this fighting has made me realize that we don't need to use violence to solve everything. Mainly because everyone I have ever fought is stronger than me.



GOTEN

1.

Goten: Damnit! Why do I have to look like a replica of my stupid dad! Trunks didn't have to did he?
2.

Goten: Ha, I'm better than you dad, I became a super saiyan when I was just a kid! Ha! Loser!
3.

Goten: Man, I take everything too seriously! Time to loosen up for a while.
4.

Goten: I love my beer!
5.

Goten: Hey Trunks, I don't know about this, I mean we shouldn't be taking photo's of mom when she's in the shower should we? Actually, now that I look at her, I can see that she's posing for us, and man, is she hot!
6.

Goten: Why is it that I assume that everything is a food? Maybe it is because of my gluttonous nature. I'm going on a diet! *Dramatic music*
7.

Goten: I have had enough with this immaturity. I wish to take no more of a part in these foolhardy games, but instead wish to battle on against formidable foes in a serious manor. Otherwise I quit!
8.

Goten: Mommy, I found this sausage-shaped balloon in your bedroom. Its all sticky...
9.

Goten: So, if humans evolved from monkeys, what did Saiyans evolve from?
10.

Goten: What to do next...I know, I will excrete on the premises in a rather comical way.
11.

Goten: Let us roam around naked and proclaim our individuality!
12.

Goten: Let's have a look at this quadrilateral equation then...hmm...yes, x = 5.23245.
13.

Goten: Gohan, when was the last time that you gave me any money? What sort of a brother are you anyway?
14.

Goten: Ok mom, I'll do the accounts for us. *Sigh*, it's not easy being a genius.
15.

Goten: Time to come out of the closet, I am a homosexual.
16.

Goten: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
17.

Goten: *Scratches butt* Ah, that's good, feels so much better. But this is inefficient using my hand...perhaps there's a butt scratcher or something.
18.

Goten: The TB jab is for wimps, yep, I don't need it. *Catches TB* Damnit! Done in by irony!
19.

Goten: *Pulls trousers down, and walks along making everyone stare, then begins shouting loudly* Everyone, being naked is a right! Let us all take off our clothes, a present ourselves to the common public! Are you with me!? *No one says anything, or puts their hands up* Fine, I'll protrude through the town naked by myself then! Hmph!
20.

Goten: As Albert Einstein once said - E=MC2. I have no idea what this means, but heck, it is an intelligent theory, and worthy of mention. I know not what the previous sentence meant either, in fact, I am just reading from the cue cards that Trunks is giving me. Which is why, I am a homosexual, and I also think Trunks is really, really, really, cool. Yep...wait a minute! Damn you Trunks!



SHENRON

1.

Shenron: Piss off. Go bother some other eternal dragon who can grant wishes!
2.

Shenron: Can't a wish-granting dragon get any sleep around here?
3.

Shenron: You know the routine, you make a wish, I grant it, blah de blah, God this is getting so tedious!
4.

Shenron: That Porunga thinks he's so big.......just let me at him!
5.

Shenron: What up my scum sucking friends? Another wish I suppose? Why should I grant you anything? When was the last time you granted me a wish eh? Stupid humans!
6.

Shenron: I will only grant you a wish if you take off all your clothes, dance around shouting 'Shen is God' then publicly admitting to being homosexuals.
7.

Shenron: I'm bored with being locked up in these balls. Isn't a lamp more traditional?
8.

Shenron: Sorry, I have Sundays off. Ask some other dragon to revive Goku so that he can save the world.
9.

Shenron: It's not easy being an orphan you know! No one to turn to when you're upset, people always nagging you to do stuff for them. It's not fair!
10.

Shenron: KameHameHa! Yes! Shenron wins again! I believe that is 2-0 to me, Earths Special Forces. Now that I've killed Goku and Vegeta, who's next?
11.

Shenron: Wish? What's that?
12.

Shenron: Sorry, no immortality or resurrection wishes.
13.

Shenron: You have disturbed me from my slumber. I shall grant you one wish...damn, I'm naked! Oh the humiliation!
14.

Shenron: Come on, make the wish so that I can make my eyes glow red. It's really cool, watch. *Eyes glow*. Oops, accidentally wasted your wish. Never mind, maybe next year eh? *Disappears into dragonballs*
15.

Shenron: All I ever hear now-a-days is Porunga. Just because he can grant more wishes than me, I can revive more than one person at a time. Yep, I am God, I am great, I am better than that Nancy Boy Namekian dragon!



BRA

1.

Bra: Ha, Trunks, your name sounds like underwear.....wait a minute....D'oh!
2.

Bra: Underwear runs in the family. Bra Briefs, what a name!

KAMI

1.

Kami: Stop following me around Mr Popo, you damn idiot!
2.

Kami: I'm scared of heights.
3.

Kami: I got a good idea, why don't I kill myself, and see how angry Piccolo gets. He'll be laughing his kegs off!
4.

Kami: Well spank my ass and call me Charlie!
5.

Kami: Hey Mr Popo, I wonder if your voice will ever break you high pitched freak!
6.

Kami: I wonder what will happen if I spit off the side of the lookout. Maybe it'll hit some poor sod on the head, that'd be cool.
7.

Kami: Poop...hee hee hee, what a sense of humour I have.
8.

Kami: Being a God isn't all that it's cracked up to be you know....
9.

Kami: Although I am the same age as Piccolo, I look about 50 years older than him! Damn, I need to find out what moisturizing cream he uses, mine obviously doesn't work anywhere near as well!
10.

Kami: I think I should be granted more privileges, what with me having to spend all my time watching over Earth. I demand to have Sundays off, and lots of pornography to watch! Oh yeah, and a human cam, where I can see into the homes of everyone, and spy on them evilly.
11.

Kami: I think that a reign of terror is long overdue. I'll threaten to destroy Shenron, and Piccolo if they don't do whatever I say. Damn I'm good!
12.

Kami: WASSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAA!
13.

Kami: I'm bored, why don't I release some rock hard enemy, that would be comical.
14.

Kami: Don't tell anyone, but I'm not really a Namek. I captured the real Kami, and he is now my slave, MWA HA HA HA!
15.

Kami: Isn't it funny how much stronger Piccolo gets when I fuse with him, when I have such a low powerlevel.



KING KAI

1.

King Kai: I haven't seen my lower extremities for 3 years!
2.

King Kai: Jokes are the lowest form of all humour
3.

King Kai: Honestly, I'm not fat, I've just got very large bones!
4.

King Kai: Bubbles, stop prancing around and do some work for once!
5.

King Kai: I don't feel like finding out how Goku is doing in his life threatening fight with some super powerful bad guy at the moment, lets just go meditate.
6.

King Kai: Has anyone realized that Goku destroyed all the trees on my planet, yet we could both still breathe. Isn't that odd?
7.

King Kai: Bet no one knows how I ran Snake Way, being as fat as I am. And anyone know where Bubbles came from? How about Gregory? And what about these supposed other students of mine, how did they reach me? Weren't me and Goku the only ones to run Snake Way? I think somebody has made a mistake, eh Akira?
8.

King Kai: I am quitting as a martial arts master, and taking up a job as an insurance salesman.
9.

King Kai: Isn't it cool the way that despite the high gravity, none of my plants wither and die?
10.

King Kai: Goku, I shall no teach you the Wing Wong Woo trick. First you must focus your energy, then poke the opponent in the eyes, then kick him between the legs. Finish the attack off by stamping on him until he is dead. It is probably the most honorable thing you could ever do.

RADITZ

1.

Raditz: Stupid super saiyans, just a bunch of show offs!
2.

Raditz: Before we fight, let me just say that I have got an important meeting to go to later, so lets not have any head shots.
3.

Raditz: I'm...I'm...I'm a virgin *Hangs down head in shame*
4.

Raditz: My tail is nice and compact, so it can fit in the tightest of all areas, if you know what I mean. *Makes randy purring noise* What? I was talking about yogurt pots!
5.

Raditz: Come to think of it, if I did turn SSJ, then I would be tripping over my own hair. Ha, look who's laughing now! HAHAHAHA! Erm....sorry about that, I sometimes go a bit mental.
6.

Raditz: Hey brother, we have got a lot to catch up on. What say we toss the old baseball whilst engaging in a conversation about your life here?
7.

Raditz: I am superman!
8.

Raditz: Let's see...I used to be the most powerful man in DBZ. I am now a poofter. Why don't I wear pink frilly armour, at least then people will know what a failure I am!
9.

Raditz: Hey kids, do you like violence? You wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids?
10.

Raditz: I have no friends. Just because I put up a hard posterior, I still need people to turn to in times of need *Sob*

GARLIC JR

1.

Garlic Jr: Damn, next time I don't think I'll use the dead zone, maybe I can win the fight that way.
2.

Garlic Jr: My height isn't the only thing that increases when I transform, if you get my drift
3.

Garlic Jr: HAHAHAHA, sorry, just do that sometimes. Nothing really funny.....I'm feeling pretty stupid right about now.
4.

Garlic Jr: *BURP* Ah, that's better, always good to get wind out of your stomach.
5.

Garlic Jr: Look, I may be immortal, but it still smarts when you poke me in the eye!
6.

Garlic Jr: That kid...Gohan...he can somehow beat me when he gets angry. Maybe if I just kill him straight away, then I'll win.
7.

Garlic Jr: Eternal dragon, grant me my wish! Make me immortal! No, wait, actually, make it rain panties!
8.

Garlic Jr: I refuse to associate myself with that dreadful filler saga that I starred in. I didn't even get benefits for that!
9.

Garlic Jr: Look how weak Piccolo has become! I have two choices - Kill him outright, or toy with him for a while...hmm...as if there was ever any doubt! *Toys with Piccolo, then gets knocked unconscious*
10.

Garlic Jr: Focus mind and body, open up portal, keep concentrating, try and suck everyone into portal, laugh like an idiot as I do so, get knocked in by Gohan, yep, it's all so perfect. I'm going to have to submit this script to the writers!



ZARBON

1.

Zarbon: Don't blame me for my stupid voice, blame my voice actor!
2.

Zarbon: Big deal if I look like a poof! who cares?
3.

Zarbon: Freiza, you can only dream of having my body, lets face it, I'm a hunk, your a queer, sad little man who gets randy by destroying planets. *Freiza enters* Erm....well...hello maRster Freiza, I was just complimenting your....er....fighting skills.
4.

Zarbon: Look at you Freiza, you hunk!
5.

Zarbon: Dodoria, this has to be said - You are putting on weight. Whatever happened to the skinny little red guy that you used to be? What, you say that you never was a skinny little red guy? Gosh damnit! I can't get everything right can I?
6.

Zarbon: Isn't it a coincidence how we are all fluent in the universal languages of Japanese and English/American?
7.

Zarbon: I am a member of the nine inch nails.
8.

Zarbon: I'm going to become a goth. The black make-up, eye shadow, stuff like that.
9.

Zarbon: The internet eh? So, what benefits does this thing have? You say there are more changelings like me on it? Amazing!
10.

Zarbon: When I grow into the big monster guy, my genitiles shrink to a tiny size. *Sigh* Why do there have to be disadvantages to everything!

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."--Shakespeare

"If life hands you lemons, don’t bother making lemonade… just pelt them at someone else!”--Unknown

"Live life on the edge just don't fall off."--Anon.

"Women can never be satisfied because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that ejaculates money."--Unknown

"I would walk a thousand miles with you because there ain't no FUCKING way I'm paying $4.50 a gallon."--Unknown

“…some people take [religion] too far. I’m all for believing in what you wanna believe…you say religion to me and I’m thinking DaVinci’s ‘Last Supper.’ Jesus looks sad, the apostles look miserable, I don’t wanna go to their party. Shouldn’t religion be more like dogs playing poker? I can’t tell you what any of the apostles are doing at the last supper, but I can tell you the little white bulldog is holding an ace under the table.” Sue says. Detective smiles. “See? That’s fun and wonderment. I’m engaged. All that other stuff is ritual and punishment.”--Sue (Carrie 2002 film; actress: Kandyse McClure)

"You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest." ~~Dwayne (Little Miss Sunshine— Paul Dano)

"Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that." ~~Frank (Little Miss Sunshine—Steve Carell)

"A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try." ~~Grandpa (LMS—Alan Arkin)

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."--Benjamin Franklin

Jenny: "Hey stacey! Say it to my fucking face. You fucking vagina!" (from The L Word")

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."--Unknown

"Life's a bitch 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy."--Unknown

"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits..."--George Carlin (7 words)

"Look, I'm a rhino. Woof! Woof!"--Kelso (That 70's Show)

I think my laptop is fried! I have no computer now! I'm writing this from my Wii. I'm sad now.

Okay, I had a ton of characters I made with the UGO's Hero Machine. I did NOT credit them in each individual submission because that would have been more time consuming. As of right now my gallery does credit UGO! So please stop telling me that I need to credit them, I already know and have!

Thanks!